Why do we love the anticipation more than the arrival?
The happiest a man can be is a day away from achieving his goal. - Unknown
Before we open the message or before we answer the phone, our brain rushes through endless scenarios. “What if it’s bad?” “What if it's … ”. It’s so intense that it inflates the stakes. When we finally read the message or pick up the phone, we get a concrete answer. Uncertainty vanishes, and the reality feels underwhelming compared to the buildup we created in our minds. Our brain loves the “what ifs”. Same mechanism happens to the gambling addicts. They don’t get addicted to winning, but to the thrill when the roulette spins, to the moment when they don’t know if they have won or lost.
Not all anticipation is bad! We all need something to look forward to. Personally, when I don’t have anything to anticipate, I get depressed and hopeless. Without anything to anticipate, I feel like life has no purpose. That’s why I try to constantly surround myself with some mini projects or events to occupy my mind and build a schedule. When you know that you have a hangout at the end of the week, the week gets a bit easier to bear, doesn't it? If you don’t have anything planned, check Netflix for upcoming releases, check if there are some interesting local events, or maybe start pursuing a new hobby! Set a difficult goal, hard enough so you anticipate its ending. Something, anything, just so you have something to look forward to.
However, anticipation can also lead to worry. This kind of anticipation drains energy, fuels anxiety, and makes the future feel heavier than the present. I have a dentist appointment scheduled for the next week. I’m living in dread, and I’m in pain only by thinking about it. I’ve survived worse, but still, I am anticipating pain, and it drains me.
It’s strange how the mind rehearses pain so well, yet forgets how often we come out fine. Maybe anticipation is just proof that we care, even when caring hurts.
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